Three Questions

When you take the time to get to know your employees as individuals, you are working towards a healthy culture, and you are gaining insight on how to manage them to success. In this article, we will focus on how you can identify how your folks approach their work and work life. There are three questions that I need to be able to answer for each employee.

1. How do they like to be treated?

Earlier in my career, I made the mistake of treating my employees like I wanted to be treated. Now, I know better, and I focus on treating my people like THEY want to be treated. Obviously, everyone should be treated with respect and decency. However, things like understanding what folks value and how they want to be recognized may differ for each individual. Figuring out the variables and getting the answers to how each individual wants to be treated does take some work. The interesting part is that many people do not know this themselves.

2. What are their talents?

Next, you need to figure out what their talents are. The tricky part here is that often when someone has a talent, those tasks come easily, so easily that the employee does not think that those skills have value. They tend to think, “oh, everyone can do this,” or “that is so basic I am not going to mention it”. Be sure that you unveil those skills.

3. What are their goals?

Everyone hates the “what do you want to be doing in 5 years” question. One of the things COVID has taught us is that life can take a turn very quickly. It seems silly to try to predict what circumstances will be 5 years from now! However, it is important that your employees identify their personal goals so that you can help them see progress towards them.

How do you get these answers?

A good first step is to schedule an hour to talk to your employee when the entire focus is on them. Do not talk about your background, projects, etc… When you schedule the meeting, be sure that you are clear about what the purpose of the meeting is. You don’t want to trigger any misgivings or anxiety. You want your employee to come to the meeting relaxed and open to discussion.

You can start with something like “This meeting is an informal discussion for me to learn more about you so that I can help you be fulfilled and happy in your work.”

You can choose whether to give them the questions in advance or not. I usually do this so that they can think about the answers. However, suppose you do not provide the questions in advance. In that case, you have the opportunity to discuss the fact that there is no wrong answer before they frame a response. 

In the meeting, assure your employee that their success is a measure of your own success and that their development is a top priority.

Questions I like to ask and why

1. What do you enjoy doing?

This question is a workaround for the “what is your talent?” question. Generally, if someone likes doing something, they are good at it. 

2. Describe to me what a good day looks like. Describe to me what a bad day looks like .

Rather than “What is your favorite part about your job?”, this makes the conversation more about the individual and less about how they might view the workplace. While it is important to have a good workplace, this meeting is about the employee. You want to completely separate this discussion from performance expectations.

Some phrases you might hear in the answers are “when I have had a chance to collaborate with a lot of people,” “when I have solved a problem,” and “when I feel like I have helped someone." These are all good answers and can give you input into teams and projects that would help them enjoy their work day.

3. What motivates you?

Reassure them that there is no wrong answer -“money” is just fine - we all need to pay bills! What this will tell you is what is important to them. To some folks it is money. For others, title is extremely important, others thrive on recognition, and others need to feel that they are contributing to society.

4. How do you like to be recognized?

Do they like a public call out in the next company meeting, a personal note, money, or a combination? Something else?

4. Are you more comfortable with a long backlog of items, or do you prefer a shorter list with items added after others are completed? Can you tell me why?

This is an interesting one and is asked to curb anxiety. In my experience, folks who like a long backlog are worried about job security and might have been caught in a layoff at a previous firm. Other people get very overwhelmed when they see a large backlog, which can hurt their productivity. Once you know the answer to this simple question, you can easily create a more comfortable working environment for that employee. This is low-hanging fruit that can make a significant impact.

5. How do you like to be managed? 

Phrasing this question as feedback to the manager will give you a more honest answer, and it is ambiguous on purpose. This is where you might get a glimpse into some previous environments that either caused stress or enjoyment.

6. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Yes, I know the dreaded ‘roll your eyes’ question. But I love this question because even if the answer changes over time, it gives you a place to start immediately. Reassure your employee that it is ok if the answer to the question changes next week. If it changes all the time, that also provides good insight into how your employee feels. Insight into their journey is of value and can help you understand where they are coming from. Be sure to tell folks - I am not asking you to commit. I am asking you today at this time where you see yourself in 5 years - knowing you might get a different answer tomorrow. Preface that there is no wrong answer to the question, and make sure you are having an open, relaxed discussion before you ask. I have received some fantastic and brave responses such as: “Working at Google”, “Having your job”, “being the CEO”, “working in x  (totally different) industry”.

This is why I love this question - knowing the answers to it allows you to show your commitment to the individual above your loyalty to the company. Taking every response seriously, I helped all of the resources who gave the answers above by providing work, goals, and training that aligned with their responses. Believe me, you can always find a project, assignment, or task, that tie this response to something of value to your organization.

This meeting is just a first step but will give you a basis of understanding, shows commitment, informs the creation of a positive work environment, and will help you formulate goals for the employee.

Now, interestingly, sometimes the employees give you the wrong answer. For example, I have had folks be incorrect when they tell me what motivates them. They think they are giving me the correct answer, but then a situation will emerge, and they get upset. If you have really reflected and worked to understand each employee, you will recognize what the problem is. It can be a productive and powerful discussion if framed as an opportunity for self-discovery.